As parents, we are inculcated to believe we are in charge and in control of our kids. We teach, they listen. We are right, and they had better do what we say just because. Because why? Because we’re bigger and can get away with raising our voices and banishing them to their rooms? (Which, let’s face it, is really just a way of getting them out of our hair, because we can’t manage them.)

Conscious parents, however, understand the parent-child dynamic as one that is fluid, flexible, and based on openness and understanding and respect, not cheap authority and scare tactics.

As my journey as a parent expands and grows, I understand my children have come here through me to experience their own path—to become fully themselves, not offshoots of me.

Yesterday, when Caroline led four groups of students as senior blue belt at her test, performed skillfully, and then won an award, my heart was full and proud and joyful. This was not because I was living vicariously through her or boasting, “Did you see my kid??!!” No. My heart was full and inspired, because I had the pleasure of witnessing a child, my child whom I love and adore, excel and have fun and express herself.

Her authenticity and excellence influenced my field, as I suspect it did others.

The pleasure is not in witnessing MY child excel; it is being present to another human, in this case a small and young girl, excel and express her warrior spirit.