Acknowledging the Milestones

Today was a milestone. Sean had his last big test, a lumbar puncture, to see if there are any icky cells left after treatment.

Besides the test, he spent the morning reading, visiting with Santa and Mrs. Claus, and chatting with the anesthesiologists.

Ending this series of chapters in our life is profound for me on so many levels. It’s a relief to be free of frequent trips into the city, overnights in the hospital, and painful procedures.

But…although I’m grateful to give up seemingly unending hours in the crowded waiting room, there are still so many children and families still there. Although I’m so glad we are no longer holed up on the oncology floor for days at a time, so many kids still are. And it goes on and on.

I guess here again is the non-dual essence of life. There are no good or bad experiences, there are only the labels we attach to them and the stories we assign them.

We have learned so much this year. Most important, we know life is to be lived. We are meant to have joy and magic and connection. We can find happiness and beauty wherever we are—even on the oncology floor. We understand that our experiences and how we perceive our situations and challenges, are dependent on how we choose to view them.

It’s really this simple and also understandably challenging.

As we come to the end of 2019, this I know for sure. My little boy is brave and strong and wise. His suffering and challenges have invited him to evolve, and he has. Regardless of what comes next, he has shown himself that he can thrive under even very stressful conditions. And he will carry this knowing with him forever. I will, too.

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