To all the young people who experience sadness, worry, or fear, this is for you.
Are you sometimes sad? Worried? Afraid?
You are not broken or disorderd. You are the sensitive souls who feel deeply, see everything, and pay attention to your environment and others in it. This makes you not only incredibly special, but also essential to your friends, family, community, and world.
The question isn’t, how do you stop feeling? The question is, how can you direct these sensitivities in ways that help you feel productive, worthy, and contribute to the world?
Maybe you’re asking, what’s wrong with me? If so, let me tell you as a fellow human on this planet, nothing is wrong with you. You are right where you need to be right now. Whatever you’re feeling is inviting you to more. More, more, more. And asking for more always comes with disquiet, uncertainty, and often sadness or worry.
But this is where you are! You are breaking open to something new. You are being called simultaneously to intimate heart-centeredness and also universal connection to people, things, ideas, and energies beyond your immediate ability to actually see them. They are there, though, no doubt. That you are feeling the way you are means you are discerning all that is calling you.
You are strong. You are always connected to Love and Source. We see you. We are here for you. And we can’t wait to watch you burst forth into yourself. Again and again and again.
Of course you’re anxious. You’re paying attention to what’s going on in the world. But you can get so good at staying tuned in to your Source energy that you can pay attention to what’s going on in the world from your connection to Source energy, and [then] you won’t feel anxiety; you’ll feel empowered for more.
We experience every condition as a vibration. Nearly simultaneously, we then translate this energy, we feel it, as an emotion. In other words, we see something and then feel something in response to it. This is great when the condition inspires us to feel joy or excitement or gratitude. Getting a new car, an A on an assignment, that sparkly bauble we desired—these experiences make us feel good. The conditions are easy.
But what if they’re not? What if the conditions cause us to feel challenged or scared or depressed? It’s really difficult to “buck the current,” of our “reality,” as Abraham explains, because “what is” demands all of our attention. “How can I stop thinking about that thing that’s so obvious?” we ask. “I see the suffering on TV.” “I got a worrisome diagnosis.” “My partner is being a jerk.” “My kid’s in trouble.” Argh! Suffering is everywhere. Everything seems uncertain and threatening. It does, indeed. But it doesn’t have to stay this way. This doesn’t have to be our reality. We can change this.
But how? We say, “I am LOOKING at what is in front of me. Am I supposed to deny this reality? Should I just lie to myself and pretend that thing isn’t actually happening? Or should I put glossy vision boards around my office? Should I tell myself I really do have a Porsche in the garage and a beach house in the Hamptons, when in reality, I’m driving an old Toyota and living in a one-bedroom apartment? What kind of nonsense is this?”
Well, okay. The Toyota and apartment might be real. But this is only our “reality” if it’s the one we choose to observe—choose to sustain. Transforming anxiety or fear or any low vibration into satisfaction or even happiness is never about denying what we see or feel. It is not about telling ourselves something we know to be false.
Accepting the isness of the situation or the feeling is an essential first step. Yes, I lost my job. Or yes, I broke my knee. Or yes, my partner left me. These are true and real. BUT, it’s what comes next that matters even more. Once we acknowledge what is, we then ask, “What do I want and how do I want to feel now?”
These questions are critical, because how we answer them will affect the present moment and the trajectory all of the present moments thereafter. In other words, are we going to remain and possibly fester in the isness of a lost job, broken limb, departed partner, and the like, or are we going to move towards something desired: a new opportunity, regained health, realized love, etc.?
And here’s the most important element. Finding relief isn’t about getting what we want right this very moment. Actually, it isn’t even about getting what we think we want tomorrow or a week from now or next month. If we are depending upon the thing or situation manifesting in front of us so that we can feel better, we will almost surely remain stuck in anxiety, frustration, anger, or sadness.
Wait. What? We say, “I want what I want. And having that thing will surely make me feel better.” Yes, we think that is so, but it can never be the way; this only reinforces our reliance on needing the exact thing outside ourselves to show up in order to soothe and diffuse our low vibration. Our relief cannot depend on a condition; it can only come to us as we change our focus or place our attention elsewhere. Once we do this, when we can sit in this relieved state just for a little while, the idea or experience that’s worrying us either alters enough to lose its trigger and charge, or it dissipates altogether.
There is no right or wrong way to do this–to begin to change our vibration and state. Sometimes we can actually look at the thing in front of us and start to see it differently. We can detach from it just enough to see the good things about it, the opportunities it offers, and the gifts and lessons and insights it brings.
Sometimes, though, this is just too difficult. The “as is” is just too charged, and we can’t see through or past it. So then what? This is when we look elsewhere entirely. We literally change our state, physically and mentally. We go for a walk, talk to a friend, pet the dog, eat something delicious, watch a funny movie, or take a nap. We do anything to shift our attention. And the trigger and the relief don’t have to be related at all! If we have a health concern, for example, the relief doesn’t have to be associated with the resolution of the illness. In fact, it’s probably best that is isn’t. We can soothe an anxiety about our health by looking at the brilliant fall leaves, watching the birds play, or listening to a favorite podcast.
And why? Why is this so important? It is essential, because changing our state changes the way we feel. And how we feel is everything. It is the most important component of moving towards what we desire. Feeling better, soothed, more satisfied, even joyful, means one very important thing: we are connected to the truth of who we are, to God, to Divine Source energy.
This is what Abraham means when they say, “[Y]ou can get so good at staying tuned in to your Source energy that you can pay attention to what’s going on in the world from your connection to Source energy, and [then] you won’t feel anxiety; you’ll feel empowered for more.” In other words, the isness doesn’t change; our perspective of it does. When we are connected to Divine Source energy, which is love, oneness, and compassion, we can look at, attend to, what is troubling or sad in a new way. Rather than anxious and fearful, we feel “empowered.”
If we believe in the Law of Attraction, then simply immersing ourselves in better-feeling energy will attract more of the same. As more of the same gathers, the momentum of this energy cannot help but manifest in form. As stated above, however, the end goal, the thing we want, which started this journey in the first place, must not consume our focus. It is the inspiration for the emotional journey, as well as the actions we take in the world, but it cannot be the only reason we are walking this path. We are doing so to FEEL BETTER along the way in every moment.
Ultimately, as we move towards what we want, we achieve a breadth and depth of understanding that are much greater and richer than simply achieving any previously defined goal could deliver to us. We learn, evolve, and realize more of who we truly are. Amidst this posture of spaciousness, this energetic expansiveness and openness, we are able to invite all kinds of abundance into our awareness.
Here, in the realm of infinite possibilities and opportunities, what we think we desired in the beginning of the journey can now either flow, unencumbered, to us, or take a different form entirely. It can show up just as we envisioned, be even more spectacular, or within this powerful flow of energy, how about this? It might not come at all or in any way we first imagined. In other words, regardless of the outcome, we remain fiercely, unconditionally satisfied, because we are able to find alignment in each moment–now, now, now. Our capacity for joy has emerged, and is sustainable, independent of any particular manifestation.
Once we understand that it is the path we walk towards our desire that is actually the essence of our expansiveness, we are called to ask this: why would I choose to remain anxious? The adversity, the distress, the spark of dissatisfaction may cause us respond with upset or anxiety, but we need not remain there. Let our inherent worthiness and ability to see choice in every experience ultimately guide us to the flow of the present and all the limitlessly present moments to come.
Yesterday, Sean was at CHOP for some tests he is required to undergo every three months. One of his appointments was with audiology. The technician, Travis, directed Sean and me to a soundproof room, sat Sean in a chair before a large window, and fitted him with headphones. I sat off to the side behind him. Travis then closed the heavy door and sat at the desk on the other side of the window, facing Sean, from which he played a variety of sounds and words.
For most of the test, Sean was to repeat the words he heard. It was the beginning of the test, though, that caught my attention. Instead of instructing Sean to raise his hand every time he heard a sound, Travis advised, “When you hear the beep, say, ‘Heard it!'” So, for the next few minutes, I watched and listened as all kinds of beeps moved through Sean’s headphones, he loudly proclaimed this response, and Travis offered many a cheerful thumbs-up.
I realized, observing this otherwise simple scene in a room so quiet I could hear my heartbeat, that the relationship between Travis, my son, the beeps, and Sean’s responses was strikingly similar to a more personal relationship: our awareness of, and intimacy with, Source.
When we are connected with Spirit in its purest, most loving form, when we are aligned and in flow, even for a moment, it is as though we are wearing special headphones. We become acutely aware of the energy and information passing through them, through the veil of ego-based projection and low vibrations, to the deepest interior of our true selves. We experience pristine clarity. We consciously, attentively listen. We are alert and attuned and aware. We are in the receiving mode of “pure positive energy” (Abraham).
How can we more frequently and fully cultivate this connection? Simply put, by paying attention to it. What if we decide to become more engaged with this relationship, this process, and respond in a similar way Sean was advised? As we feel the warm sunshine on our face during a walk, “Heard it!” As we cuddle our dog, “Heard it!” As we feel the tenderness of our child’s small hand in ours, “Heard it!” As we listen to a moving piece of music, “Heard it!” Responding this way, out loud or in our hearts, we are affirming that we are in the receiving mode. We are declaring our connection to the Source energy that is simultaneously always calling, and living in, us.
The more often we choose to consciously respond in this way, the more accustomed to listening we become. This is law, after all. This is Law of Attraction and Alignment in their purest forms. What’s more, as we open ever wider and deeper to this energy, we also then become more alert and engaged with Source, expecting to hear, see, and feel the signs and information that surround us in every moment.
Unlike the few minutes of beeps passing through Sean’s headphones, the Grace that invites our attention and response is always calling us. She is constantly speaking, beckoning. The only question is, are we engaged and listening?
Will you put on your headphones today? When you do, get still, create the spaciousness of the soundproof room in your soul, and listen for the beep. Never fear; it will come. And when it does, whether in a whisper or a resounding clang, pronounce, “Heard it!” Source will hear you, too, and as Travis did with Sean, She will offer you an affirming thumbs-up.