Are we conditional or unconditional creators? A rich, full, colorful life, like inspired art, can only come from one place: a fierce commitment to being and becoming ourselves, regardless of the circumstances.
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Of Course You’re Anxious. And Still…
Of course you’re anxious. You’re paying attention to what’s going on in the world. But you can get so good at staying tuned in to your Source energy that you can pay attention to what’s going on in the world from your connection to Source energy, and [then] you won’t feel anxiety; you’ll feel empowered for more.
–Abraham Hicks
We experience every condition as a vibration. Nearly simultaneously, we then translate this energy, we feel it, as an emotion. In other words, we see something and then feel something in response to it. This is great when the condition inspires us to feel joy or excitement or gratitude. Getting a new car, an A on an assignment, that sparkly bauble we desired—these experiences make us feel good. The conditions are easy.
But what if they’re not? What if the conditions cause us to feel challenged or scared or depressed? It’s really difficult to “buck the current,” of our “reality,” as Abraham explains, because “what is” demands all of our attention. “How can I stop thinking about that thing that’s so obvious?” we ask. “I see the suffering on TV.” “I got a worrisome diagnosis.” “My partner is being a jerk.” “My kid’s in trouble.” Argh! Suffering is everywhere. Everything seems uncertain and threatening. It does, indeed. But it doesn’t have to stay this way. This doesn’t have to be our reality. We can change this.
But how? We say, “I am LOOKING at what is in front of me. Am I supposed to deny this reality? Should I just lie to myself and pretend that thing isn’t actually happening? Or should I put glossy vision boards around my office? Should I tell myself I really do have a Porsche in the garage and a beach house in the Hamptons, when in reality, I’m driving an old Toyota and living in a one-bedroom apartment? What kind of nonsense is this?”
Well, okay. The Toyota and apartment might be real. But this is only our “reality” if it’s the one we choose to observe—choose to sustain. Transforming anxiety or fear or any low vibration into satisfaction or even happiness is never about denying what we see or feel. It is not about telling ourselves something we know to be false.
Accepting the isness of the situation or the feeling is an essential first step. Yes, I lost my job. Or yes, I broke my knee. Or yes, my partner left me. These are true and real. BUT, it’s what comes next that matters even more. Once we acknowledge what is, we then ask, “What do I want and how do I want to feel now?”
These questions are critical, because how we answer them will affect the present moment and the trajectory all of the present moments thereafter. In other words, are we going to remain and possibly fester in the isness of a lost job, broken limb, departed partner, and the like, or are we going to move towards something desired: a new opportunity, regained health, realized love, etc.?
And here’s the most important element. Finding relief isn’t about getting what we want right this very moment. Actually, it isn’t even about getting what we think we want tomorrow or a week from now or next month. If we are depending upon the thing or situation manifesting in front of us so that we can feel better, we will almost surely remain stuck in anxiety, frustration, anger, or sadness.
Wait. What? We say, “I want what I want. And having that thing will surely make me feel better.” Yes, we think that is so, but it can never be the way; this only reinforces our reliance on needing the exact thing outside ourselves to show up in order to soothe and diffuse our low vibration. Our relief cannot depend on a condition; it can only come to us as we change our focus or place our attention elsewhere. Once we do this, when we can sit in this relieved state just for a little while, the idea or experience that’s worrying us either alters enough to lose its trigger and charge, or it dissipates altogether.
There is no right or wrong way to do this–to begin to change our vibration and state. Sometimes we can actually look at the thing in front of us and start to see it differently. We can detach from it just enough to see the good things about it, the opportunities it offers, and the gifts and lessons and insights it brings.
Sometimes, though, this is just too difficult. The “as is” is just too charged, and we can’t see through or past it. So then what? This is when we look elsewhere entirely. We literally change our state, physically and mentally. We go for a walk, talk to a friend, pet the dog, eat something delicious, watch a funny movie, or take a nap. We do anything to shift our attention. And the trigger and the relief don’t have to be related at all! If we have a health concern, for example, the relief doesn’t have to be associated with the resolution of the illness. In fact, it’s probably best that is isn’t. We can soothe an anxiety about our health by looking at the brilliant fall leaves, watching the birds play, or listening to a favorite podcast.
And why? Why is this so important? It is essential, because changing our state changes the way we feel. And how we feel is everything. It is the most important component of moving towards what we desire. Feeling better, soothed, more satisfied, even joyful, means one very important thing: we are connected to the truth of who we are, to God, to Divine Source energy.
This is what Abraham means when they say, “[Y]ou can get so good at staying tuned in to your Source energy that you can pay attention to what’s going on in the world from your connection to Source energy, and [then] you won’t feel anxiety; you’ll feel empowered for more.” In other words, the isness doesn’t change; our perspective of it does. When we are connected to Divine Source energy, which is love, oneness, and compassion, we can look at, attend to, what is troubling or sad in a new way. Rather than anxious and fearful, we feel “empowered.”
If we believe in the Law of Attraction, then simply immersing ourselves in better-feeling energy will attract more of the same. As more of the same gathers, the momentum of this energy cannot help but manifest in form. As stated above, however, the end goal, the thing we want, which started this journey in the first place, must not consume our focus. It is the inspiration for the emotional journey, as well as the actions we take in the world, but it cannot be the only reason we are walking this path. We are doing so to FEEL BETTER along the way in every moment.
Ultimately, as we move towards what we want, we achieve a breadth and depth of understanding that are much greater and richer than simply achieving any previously defined goal could deliver to us. We learn, evolve, and realize more of who we truly are. Amidst this posture of spaciousness, this energetic expansiveness and openness, we are able to invite all kinds of abundance into our awareness.
Here, in the realm of infinite possibilities and opportunities, what we think we desired in the beginning of the journey can now either flow, unencumbered, to us, or take a different form entirely. It can show up just as we envisioned, be even more spectacular, or within this powerful flow of energy, how about this? It might not come at all or in any way we first imagined. In other words, regardless of the outcome, we remain fiercely, unconditionally satisfied, because we are able to find alignment in each moment–now, now, now. Our capacity for joy has emerged, and is sustainable, independent of any particular manifestation.
Once we understand that it is the path we walk towards our desire that is actually the essence of our expansiveness, we are called to ask this: why would I choose to remain anxious? The adversity, the distress, the spark of dissatisfaction may cause us respond with upset or anxiety, but we need not remain there. Let our inherent worthiness and ability to see choice in every experience ultimately guide us to the flow of the present and all the limitlessly present moments to come.
Align From Within
Are You Ready to Align?
Two Kinds of People
Regardless of the conditions, regardless of our job or our partner or our kids or the economy or the state of politics or whether there is a pandemic or, or, or….we are always in choice. ALWAYS. Period. End of issue.
Being triggered, feeling afraid or disappointed or worried, these are all true and real. We must feel the contrast in order to be invited into expansion. But then we have to flow with what is expanding!
We can remain stuck in the muck and argue for our limitations and declare, “I’m not going! Don’t you see you terrible this is?”
Or we can decide, “I’d really rather be somewhere else. What am I being asked to consider? I will use this place of unwanted to move towards what is wanted. And it’s my responsibility and birthright to choose better. Right now. Right now.”
What are you choosing today?
Living Alignment
“Don’t let conditions fool you. You’re a vibrational being and you’re emanating a signal at all times.
Whatever you’re doing is causing you to emanate vibration that Law of Attraction is matching. To be consciously aware of what you’re giving out is such a helpful thing. But not what someone else wants you to give out; what [Source does].
You get back what you give all the time. Every emotion you feel is about the relationship you have created with yourself. It’s never about anyone else.
Don’t look for the condition to guide or soothe you. Look to your [aligned] self.”
A. Hicks
When You Hear the Beep…
Yesterday, Sean was at CHOP for some tests he is required to undergo every three months. One of his appointments was with audiology. The technician, Travis, directed Sean and me to a soundproof room, sat Sean in a chair before a large window, and fitted him with headphones. I sat off to the side behind him. Travis then closed the heavy door and sat at the desk on the other side of the window, facing Sean, from which he played a variety of sounds and words.
For most of the test, Sean was to repeat the words he heard. It was the beginning of the test, though, that caught my attention. Instead of instructing Sean to raise his hand every time he heard a sound, Travis advised, “When you hear the beep, say, ‘Heard it!'” So, for the next few minutes, I watched and listened as all kinds of beeps moved through Sean’s headphones, he loudly proclaimed this response, and Travis offered many a cheerful thumbs-up.
I realized, observing this otherwise simple scene in a room so quiet I could hear my heartbeat, that the relationship between Travis, my son, the beeps, and Sean’s responses was strikingly similar to a more personal relationship: our awareness of, and intimacy with, Source.
When we are connected with Spirit in its purest, most loving form, when we are aligned and in flow, even for a moment, it is as though we are wearing special headphones. We become acutely aware of the energy and information passing through them, through the veil of ego-based projection and low vibrations, to the deepest interior of our true selves. We experience pristine clarity. We consciously, attentively listen. We are alert and attuned and aware. We are in the receiving mode of “pure positive energy” (Abraham).
How can we more frequently and fully cultivate this connection? Simply put, by paying attention to it. What if we decide to become more engaged with this relationship, this process, and respond in a similar way Sean was advised? As we feel the warm sunshine on our face during a walk, “Heard it!” As we cuddle our dog, “Heard it!” As we feel the tenderness of our child’s small hand in ours, “Heard it!” As we listen to a moving piece of music, “Heard it!” Responding this way, out loud or in our hearts, we are affirming that we are in the receiving mode. We are declaring our connection to the Source energy that is simultaneously always calling, and living in, us.
The more often we choose to consciously respond in this way, the more accustomed to listening we become. This is law, after all. This is Law of Attraction and Alignment in their purest forms. What’s more, as we open ever wider and deeper to this energy, we also then become more alert and engaged with Source, expecting to hear, see, and feel the signs and information that surround us in every moment.
Unlike the few minutes of beeps passing through Sean’s headphones, the Grace that invites our attention and response is always calling us. She is constantly speaking, beckoning. The only question is, are we engaged and listening?
Will you put on your headphones today? When you do, get still, create the spaciousness of the soundproof room in your soul, and listen for the beep. Never fear; it will come. And when it does, whether in a whisper or a resounding clang, pronounce, “Heard it!” Source will hear you, too, and as Travis did with Sean, She will offer you an affirming thumbs-up.
Be Unconditional
Two trees stand side by side, tall and adorned with the saturated brilliance of autumnal golds and oranges and reds. Here, in this field, they exist, just as they are, strong and true. But today, the sky is grey. The clouds cloak the sky, momentarily hiding the sun, as a mother hangs a curtain over a bright window to allow her babe to sleep.
Unlike the sleeping baby, though, the one tree is sad. It misses the warmth and brightness of the fall sun. It feels a chill in the air and regards the smoke-colored sky as unjust. It says to the other tree, “How am I to endure this depressing sky? It is making me so very sad. I am a tree, strong and beautiful with leaves the colors of jewels, but not today. How can I express my beauty when this infernal grayness dims me so?”
The other tree responds, “What is this you say? How is it that the sky depresses your color?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” the other tree answers. “My leaves are dull; I need the sun to shine upon them so that everyone might see how brilliantly colored they are. Without the light I am nothing.”
“I see,” said the other. “That does sound very grim, indeed. I can understand why you feel so sad. I wonder, how do I look to you? Do believe the clouds darken my appearance too? Is my beauty so censured by the gray sky?”
“Oh, I assure you, you are still beautiful,” answered the tree. “Clearly, you are different and cannot be influenced. Your leaves are as lovely as ever. In fact, the grey somehow enhances your beauty. The colors are changed somewhat, indeed, but their hues are true and rich. You are clearly luckier than I, to be sure.”
“That’s interesting,” answered the other. “So, I seem unchanged to you, but you feel different and reduced by today’s weather?”
“I will tell you this, friend,” she continued. “Even today, when the clouds hide the sun, when the autumnal light is faded, you are still brilliant and beautiful. You might not be able to see it in yourself, but I can, just as you see it in me. And this is why. Whether the sun shines on us or the clouds roll across the sky to cover its light, we still stand as we are. The conditions of the air, this field, the animals in it, everything around us–they do not dictate who we are, how we stand, and the color of our leaves. Yes, when the sun warms us and ignites our color, our beauty is undeniable to all who see us. But when it does not, we are not less magnificent. We are what we are, unconditional in our being. As long as we stand here in this field, for as many decades or centuries as we are in this place, all we need to know is this: to live independent of conditions is the only way to true joy, which is our very birthright, given to us by Nature, herself.”
“It is alright to feel sad. It is understandable to witness how conditions can alter how we feel about ourselves. But just remember, your truth does not depend on anything outside of you. In your very nature, you are as an extension of the universe itself, which is ever only abundance and love and eternal beauty.”
The sad tree listened and accepted these words. The cool breeze rustled through her color-soaked leaves and she looked up at the passing clouds. She knew all of this to be so. And she was able to rest in this truth.
Alignment is Everything
The only way to raise our vibration is to reduce our resistance to what is unwanted, find alignment with Source, and allow our energy to flow with it. All wisdom teachers and spiritual traditions describe this as the method of moving towards our true selves, spiritual oneness, and enlightenment.
Until we become practiced in how to find alignment and what this even means, however, it is a concept and practice that can be understandably challenging. With what are we seeking alignment? Is this a manner of just trying to be positive? How am I supposed to do this when I feel terrible? Fearful? Depressed? When what reality is showing me makes me feel sad and hopeless?
To put it simply, we are seeking alignment with the highest vibration energies we can find at any given moment. These include, for example, eagerness, happiness, joy, love, and passion. This is never a matter of just trying to think positively. Saying to ourselves, “I just won’t think about that,” or “I’m only going to think positive thoughts from now on,” never works. As we attempt to talk ourselves into feeling better (but not really yet believing it), we are actually pushing against feeling bad, and so the result is simply more resistance and frustration. Sometimes, when we’re really feeling down and the momentum of lower vibrations such as fear, grief, envy, or unworthiness have gotten hold of us, the best we can reach for might be boredom or contentment. But that’s okay. At least for a while. The most important thing is to allow the energy of emotions to flow in an upward fashion, continuing to elevate until we find joy and love. The more practiced we become, the more quickly the energy will move.
How do we find alignment, though, when our reality, the people, events, situations, in our present, are indeed scary, threatening, depressing, or seemingly hopeless? This is the very essence of living a conscious, awake life, isn’t it? How to live with joy in a world that consistently presents us with challenges and pain is at the very core of all spiritual traditions. So, again, in the simplest of terms, when we look at something that’s hurting us in the “now,” the only way to find alignment is to either find elements of that thing that hurt less and can elevate our vibration (for us and the object of our attention), or to look away entirely–to refocus on something that requires less resistance and allows the energy to flow.
The trouble with what we call our reality is that it demands our attention, doesn’t it? It is very difficult, if not sometimes impossible, to look at the thing that upsets us and at the same time reach for contentment, let alone joy. But just because this is so doesn’t mean it’s not the way. All healers, all wisdom teachers, have revealed that only by seeing wellness when there is illness, showing compassion where there is hate, being a source of light and love where there is darkness and abuse, can these lower, even destructive energies, move and find resolution. It is not that we deny the suffering; we put our attention elsewhere. We decide to feel other than we actually see. For if we understand and accept that energy is constantly in motion and that reality is merely a reflection of our inner truth (our mindset and expectations and preconceptions about life), then it must follow that what we “see” can also shift and change.
This is not just the essence of spirituality, mysticism, and religion. It is also at the very core of science and quantum physics. Most of us have this backwards and upside-down. It’s not the thing we’re observing that determines what comes next. It’s our perception, our energy, that creates a field of infinite possibilities. In other words, that thing can change; it can become whatever we decide it to be. As Einstein declared, “The field is the sole governing agency of the particle.” Infuse the field with fear, the particle will reflect fear. Infuse it with love and the particle will reflect love. It must be so.
In the photograph above, the tree stands strong against the clear blue autumnal sky. The sun shines brilliantly upon it, its rays streaming towards it. Over the past couple of weeks, the top of the tree has become saturated with hues of red and gold and yellow. Most of the lower leaves on this great tree, however, maintain the deep green color reminiscent of reflecting the former reality of hot summer days. They do not yet feel the effects of the fall sun and the transformations and transmutations that the tree is experiencing within its trunk and branches and within the very veins of the leaves themselves.
So what can this tree teach us? If the sun is Source, representing joy and abundance, indeed the “field,” as Einstein describes it, the tree surely reflects each of us as we move through life, seeking alignment with it. As the topmost leaves reach towards the sun and allow the light and heat to penetrate them, they are changed. They are transformed. They are aligned. But what of the lower leaves? They are still green. They would be perfectly right to declare, “What sun? What Source? We don’t feel it. In fact, we don’t believe there is such a thing as the sun. It doesn’t come to us. It might never come to us. Things will never improve for our lot. Some leaves are just lucky. They turn brilliant colors and transform. But we don’t. We are stuck here in eternal greenness.”
And what might the sun answer? “I am always here,” it might say. “I shine everyday. I am warm and bright and calling you every minute. Even on cloudy days, although you might not see me, I am here. The leaves above you have changed, because they are facing me directly. They are reaching towards me and have accepted my warmth and nourishment. But so can you. For I shine on you, too. And in fact, even if you don’t feel my rays directly, this magnificent tree, with which you are integrally connected, does feel my warmth and encouragement. When you are ready, you can begin to feel the light and color and warmth moving through your very cells as well. And when you feel called, you, too, may allow this glorious transformation. For it is yours when you are ready. You already have these glorious colors within you? Did you know that? You were born with them, even if you didn’t know it in your beautiful greenness. They are always there, just as I am. And so you will be changed when you are ready.”
We know this to be so, for what will happen in a period of days and weeks to come? Slowly or rapidly, however the tree decides it to occur, these leaves will soon be transformed. Every leaf will be saturated with autumnal colors, and we will witness this magnificence as a reflection of Source’s powerful flowing through every living thing.
Let this be a vision for us as we seek to understand what alignment is and how we discover it for ourselves. Source, truth, wisdom, God, whatever name we use, is always calling us. In our despair, She is there. In our fear, She is there. In our confusion, She is there. We need only turn towards Her, and allow her light and love to transform our hearts. We must, and are called to, do this for ourselves. For only in first discovering our own alignment, feeling this flow of infinite love and possibilities, can we then share it with others. Only by living in a place of oneness and love, can we fully support them as they journey to their own truth and joy and wellness.
Note: For more on alignment and the Emotional Scale as discussed here, see Abraham Hicks.
Are We Free From a Fixed Mindset?
I have recently been thinking a lot about something called “fixed mindset.” In her audiobook, Walking the Walk, Pema Chodron discusses the attitude of this state of being, which is characterized by closed- or narrow-mindedness, absolute thinking, judgment, a sense of “I’m right and you’re wrong,” and ultimately an inherent inability to be present in a meaningful way.
So what about the opposite, what she calls “freedom from fixed mind?” Well, this is an attitude of openness, open-heartedness, ease, curiosity, generosity, and kindness. Pema states that this freedom can emerge as much from quiet moments of experiencing beauty as it can from trauma–times when we’re suddenly caught off guard, scared, worried, or surprised by something troubling.
This is what I wanted to reflect on here. I can, for example, recall with great precision the moment Sean was diagnosed. I remember the events leading up to it, as well as the arrow to the heart, so to speak, when the ER doc told me from across Sean’s bed, rather matter-of-factly, that he had to be transferred immediately to another hospital. Of course, this was just the beginning of a long journey, comprised of many large and intricate parts. Many of these elements are still influencing our lives today.
What I came to understand and for which I now have specific language, is that it was in fact this trauma that invited me, launched me, into “freedom from fixed mind.” Just as encountering a beautiful butterfly on a walk (which just happened to me yesterday) can capture our attention for a few moments and focus us into presence of mind, so can suffering do the same. Of course, the thoughts are usually dissimilar, as are the initial emotions. At the moment of the onset of suffering, there is most likely acute pain. But as we become more practiced at consciously witnessing the ebbing and flowing of our feelings, we can actually experience and evening-out, an opening, of these emotions, which translates into freedom, loosening of constriction, and even curiosity and kindness.
It is in this space, as we’re sitting at the bedside of our child, waiting for a test result, or even driving to the hospital for treatment, that it is possible to detach from the clenching, choose to breathe into the “trenpa,” or presence of mind, and find the spaciousness within us, which quite literally allows us to connect to the love and goodness around us.
In other words, the energy of loving-kindness flows from us outwards, touching others, and inviting them to experience this freedom themselves. If we choose, we can become the initial drop in the still water that creates ripples of goodness and wonder and love. We, even in our pain, can become a conduit of wholeness and possibility.
Does any of this resonate with you? How do you feel about the idea of freedom from fixed mind?
Sistering to Sophia 